used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
