that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize