The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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