I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
