I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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