I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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