You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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