At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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