you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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