i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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