I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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