I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
