Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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