I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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