I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you inspire me to be a worse person
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
