I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
