You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
