So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
