This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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