Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
