i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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