Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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