he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
pray to the hookup gods
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
