I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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