I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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