I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize