Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
