he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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