It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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