dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
