Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He? As in you personified your dick?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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