just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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