I CAN MOONWALK!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
