When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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