i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
