Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
