the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
