Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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