You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
