okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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