I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
