Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
