Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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