Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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