i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
