you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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