I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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