Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
