The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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