someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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