Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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