AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This baby is an asshole
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
