I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize