When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
