this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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