I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
