Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
