Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
