so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think my fart just growled at me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
In America we eat man semen.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
