I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
